Signs You Are Emotionally Attached To Negative Past
“Emotionally Attached to your past”?Getting confused? Read all the signs to confirm it!
Almost everyone of us has faced something negative in our past.Some of those things affected us in short term while some of them did it for a long term.None of us want to ruin any kind of relationship.
Many of those events have been forgotten by us while some of them are still living somewhere inside us.Many of us still feel connected to those events.
But here a confusion arises!!As it is impossible to forget this kind of events then how can we come to know whether we are emotionally attached to these events or not?
So, here are signs that you are emotionally attached to your negative past–
1.You Won’t Talk About It
If you are ok with the positive and negative in your past, you don’t mind discussing it, when and where appropriate.
It’s because sometimes the person talks a lot his/her past and tries to spoil the image of another person in order to prove himself/herself right and innocent.But this isn’t the sign that you are emotionally attached to that event.
If you are hesitating while discussing it, that means you are still emotionally connected to that event.
2.You Get Those Old Familiar Feelings
Uncertain feelings of pain and agony, grudge and fear still haunt people who are emotionally attached to the past.These undetermined feelings can appear anytime, in response to an external situation or to your own thoughts.
You’re probably very familiar with these feelings, as they have been with you for a long, long time.It will be persistent and a gut feeling will appear like something is wrong.
No matter how successful you are or how much you have achieved, you will feel incomplete.No matter how many new friends or people have around you, but still you will feel something missing.
3. You Can’t Be Yourself Around Your Family Of Origin
When you visit family, you restrict yourself by agreeing to the old family views and expectations.This may involve remaining silent or be avoiding topics that you would normally love to talk about.
The point is, you act in a different manner.You feel you cannot be who you are in everyday life.It’s a sign you are agreeing to old expectations, usually out of fear of disapproval, criticism, or ridicule.
4. You Fear Disapproval In General
Sometimes the family’s criticism affects you.When it does, you try to project your fear of rejection onto other people; your friends, romantic partners, and sometimes even strangers.
You don’t even try to take any kind of initiative just because of this fear of disapproval.This natural fear of disapproval has roots in the original family influence.
5. You Repress Emotions
Human beings are emotional creatures by nature.When those emotions are uncomfortable, we tend to block them from the expression, thinking that we can avoid the pain.
This strategy backfires.When you repress emotions, you hang on to them.When you express them fully, it is easier to let them go.Denying, ignoring, and repressing negative emotions creates an attachment to those emotions.
6. You Can’t Control Your Impulses
Impulses come from emotions.
When you have repressed emotions lurking under the surface, you still react to them.It’s like carrying around a reservoir of fuel that is just waiting for a spark to set it off.
Out of control tempers, anxiety, and other impulsive reactions stem from unresolved emotions.This leads to poor decision making, addictive behaviors, and regret.
7. You Feel Limited In Some Way, But Can’t Explain Why
When the family of origin is showing emotion overwhelming, generally we tend to set exhausting rules for ourselves that make limitations.
- I will never get divorced, no matter what
- I won’t speak in front of a group
- I will never put my faith on anyone
- I will always keep a low profile
- I must play it safe in life
We design these rules to secure us, but they can end up close off beneficial choices as adults.Interestingly, these rules can determine our choices whether we are consciously aware of them or not.
8. Repeating The Same Mistakes Over And Over
Repeating the same mistake over and over is a sure sign of negative attachment.
Making the same poor decisions repeatedly is a major sign that something negative in your history is still influencing you by drawing you toward it.
9. Either You Avoid Or You Do Excess Of Those Things That Reminds Of Past
Either you avoid listening to those songs and going to those places that are related to your past event or to that person.Even you try to avoid recall those things that contain good moments.
You either avoid those things completely or do it in excess as you feel connected to those memories.That’s a sign of your emotional attachment to your past.
10. You Are Still Hoping That Everything Will Be Alright
Sometimes the reason for not getting over our past is that we still hope that everything will be same as before and it will be even better.We start imagining about the moments when all these things will get back in the same way as before.
You don’t try to express your feelings but still, somewhere you want it to get back in the same situation as before.
That’s something which makes you optimistic as well as emotionally attached to your past.
These are the signs that you are emotionally attached to your past.Various psychological reasons are there for it.Sometimes you have to become emotionally intelligent in order to cope up with these feelings.Know about these multiple intelligences and know your strength.
Enhance your emotional intelligence by-